Rock Bottom is a Beautiful Place.

Rock bottom is a beautiful place.

Towards the end of my college career, I was finishing up my bachelors degree, applying to PT and PTA school, working 2 jobs, I was serving in a college ministry, and just starting to speak in a small group, but yet, I was not living a life I am very proud to admit. I was still living in the same sinful habits I just couldn’t seem to shake. The party scene, in particular, I just could not run from. And it wasn’t so much the alcohol that created the sinful life I was living, it was the decision I had to allow it to consume me and my sober (right thinking) mind. Over and over again, I would allow myself to indulge in too much alcohol and make decisions that would haunt me for years to come. There are countless decisions I made during these drunken mind sets, but one sin seemed to consume or take priority in most of these decisions, and that was lust.

Lust had been a recurring sin in my life at this time. It crept into my life somewhere around middle school age, before I had a relationship with Christ, or even knew that I could have a relationship with Christ. I was your typical “Christian”, say it but don’t live it type “Christian.” I had let myself off the hook, thinking that as long as I didn’t act on these lustful thoughts then there was no harm done, right? Oh boy, was I wrong. Because at this age I didn’t know how or that I even needed to cast these lustful thoughts out of my brain, I allowed them to embed themselves deeper and deeper into my life. By the time I got to college, Satan had embedded lust so deep into my mind that he was able to confuse two very different words for me… lust and love. He had twisted my mind so much that I was believing what I was feeling was actually love. Oh man, how this turned my life upside down for a long time.

Thankfully, towards the end of my college career, I was starting to learn/understand what a relationship with Christ looked like. I was starting to move past that typical “Christian” stage and was actually trying to live my life for the Lord. Therefore, when lust would start to creep in, I was able to recognize it. However, at this point, like I said before, I was still living in that party scene. I was still allowing myself to become weak minded when I would decide to drink too much. And what does Satan do to those who are weak minded? HE ATTACKS! Satan knew my weakness and as soon as he saw his opportunity to attack, he didn’t waste a single second.

When my sober mind would return, I would feel The Lords conviction. But instead of asking for forgiveness and repenting, I would become depressed and shameful. Another one of Satan’s tactics. He would make me feel unworthy of The Lord’s love and forgiveness. So much so that I would isolate myself and not allow anyone to know what I was doing/feeling. I would shove all of this down and hide it. Until one day, I had hit rock bottom, and I could not hide anymore.

Rock bottom is what people describe as their lowest of lows, and at this point, I just knew I could not get any lower than this. I had let lust control me for the last time. I had let shame become too thick. I had let Satan control too much of my life. It was at this point I had nothing left to do but fall onto my knees and pray. I prayed that The Lord would forgive me and give me the strength to leave this sin behind forever. I prayed that He would give me the wisdom to recognize it when Satan would throw it at me, and the courage to cast it out, in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

It wasn’t until months down the road that I realized the beauty in that moment. I realized that rock bottom was a beautiful place. As hard as it was to hit rock bottom, and the pain that came with that, there was so much more beauty that came because of it! It was in that moment that I surrendered myself to Jesus. It was in that moment I started to develop a real relationship with the Lord. All the tears, all the heartache, and all the pain became worth it in that moment because I found Jesus at rock bottom.

The Lord saved me from my sin and took me in as His child. He wrapped his loving arms around me and said, “Brooke, you are forgiven and you are free.” I have been freed from the chains of lust! Lust no longer has the power to hold me back from being the person The Lord has created me to be from the beginning!

Don’t let me fool you, though. It has not been all “up hill” from there. It has been a rollercoaster of a ride! Satan still likes to throw those darts at me, but because of the relationship I now have with The Lord, I am able to recognize those thoughts and cast them out! I know that this will never be an easy thing to do, but because of Jesus, it is possible.

Because of Jesus, I have a life, and eternal life at that! I have a life full of love, peace, and joy. And because of Jesus and His ultimate sacrifice, I have decided to live this life here on earth for Him. A life dedicated to spreading His love and His truth. Because I have felt and seen it first hand, and I now know, there is nothing better!

So I pray:

I pray that you feel The Lord’s conviction. I pray that you are able to cast out those feelings of shame and fear. I pray you have the courage to ask for forgiveness and then receive it. I pray you repent and make the decision to walk away from whatever sin is holding you captive. I pray you choose to live this life on earth for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I pray you grow strong in a relationship with Him. I pray you feel His love, peace, and joy! And then I pray you choose to spread it! I pray you are brave enough to share with others how The Lord saved you, and what He has done in your life! I pray that the world may come to know His name and His freedom, because you chose to be brave!

I pray that we give you all the praise and glory you deserve Lord, Jesus! It is in Your Holy and precious name that I pray, Amen.

1 Peter 5:8-9 - “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of suffering.”

Galatians 5:1 - “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

1 Peter 2:16 - “Live as free men, but do not use your freedom to cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.”